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Transitioning back to work after lockdown

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Staying mentally healthy as the country begins going back into workplaces.

Life as we knew it has changed and our reality is very different today than it was 100+ days ago. Many of us were in various stages of lockdown for extended periods of time. and even as many of the initial restrictions were lifted , many have still remained and will remain for the foreseeable future.

As we begin to emerge from what felt like hibernation for many, we are all to aware that life is very different and things will never go back to the way they were.

As we start to return to work, and our children return to school there is a lot to think about. Lockdown has affected us all in different ways, and it is normal to feel uncertain about what the future holds.

Many people feel confused, worried and apprehensive about going back to the workplace and even more feel anxious about sending children back to school. Amid this worry there is also the harsh realisation that indefinite lockdown is not sustainable and life still needs to carry on.

Organisations are considering a range of adjustments to the way work is done, to comply with government recommendations. These adjustments will depend on your job, and your individual circumstances.

Everyone’s situation is unique. However, as you  return to work, there are some general principles that will give you the best chance of getting back to work and staying mentally healthy over the coming months.

 

Talk and connect

It is important to keep in touch with colleagues and your line manager. You don’t need to talk about work, but a quick check-in will help you feel connected. We have all been impacted by the coronavirus in different ways. You may have been bereaved, felt overwhelmed or isolated, or been unwell. If you share this with others they will be better able to help you in the months ahead.

Plan and prepare

Think about your job and your situation. Does anything need to change to help you do your job well? If you haven’t been told what to expect, ask what provisions have been made to create a safe work environment. It can be helpful to think through what will happen on the first day back:

  • How will you get to work?
  • Will anything be different as you enter the building?
  • Who will be there?
  • Will you need to do things differently to get your job done?
  • Are you on a rotation schedule?

Have a return-to-work conversation with your line manager

If you have not received a return-to-work briefing from your line manager ask for one.

This is a chance to identify your work priorities and raise any concerns or questions that you have. If you have something important you want to talk about, make a note of it for when you have a briefing or perhaps drop your manager and email with your concerns. This is an unprecedented time for all of us and we are all trying to figure things out as we go along. NO one person has all the answers so raise your concerns and ask your questions – chances are you are not the only one who has the same concern.

Try not to panic and slip into a paranoid space

Take things one step at a time

The way we all work is likely to keep changing in the coming weeks and months so we will need to keep adjusting. Don’t expect everything to quickly return to normal. The life you knew and were familiar with prior to lockdown is gone and will very likely never return. We have a long journey ahead. We may never be able to go back to our old ways of working so this could give us an opportunity to do things very differently, and even better. Look out for yourself, look out for others and take one day at a time.

Monitor and review how you are getting on

It is important to have regular check-ins with yourself (How am I coping? Could I do more to help stay mentally healthy?) and check-ins with your team members and manager (How are we working? Is there anything we could do differently to work better together?). This way you can address issues as they come up and start to plan and prepare for the journey through COVID-19 together.

Be mindful of those who may have been directedly affected or infected by this virus. Be supportive and check-in if a team member has had to deal with the illness or loss of a family member due to COVID-19. many of those in  essential services have has to deal with unimaginable conditions from and emotional and psychological perspective. Many of them have brought these  traumas home and family have had to deal as best they could. so be gentle and be kind with those who are struggling you may not know what they have has to deal with on the home front.

Finally

Everyone is finding their own path and things might not always go to plan. It is important to be kind to yourself and to be kind to others as we all find our way. Returning to work is not always easy, but having support can make a huge difference. If you are finding it difficult, ask a trusted colleague or friend to help you work through the questions and identify some concrete actions that you, or they, can take to help you.

How to build resilience and cope with stress

Resilience is not ignoring your situation

What is Resilience?

We all demonstrate resilience in some form or the other at some point in our life. This is a very ordinary and normal process we all go through when we need to rebuild our life.

Being resilient does not mean that we do not experience difficulty or distress, emotional  pain or sadness. Quite the opposite the road to resilience is often paved with considerable emotional distress.

Resilience involves the behaviours, thoughts and actions that we can learn and develop to navigate the emotional distress.

We have all dealt with the death  of a loved one, loss of a job, serious illness or some other traumatic event that has left an indelible mark on our life. These are all very challenging  life experiences and many people react to these circumstance with a flood of strong emotions and a sense of uncertainty. Eventually though they adapt well over  time to these life-changing situations and stressful conditions. What enable s them to do so? It is resilience –  the ongoing process that requires time and effort and taking a number of steps to enhance and build their resilience.

Here are Six Strategies that can help you Build resilience

Change the narrative

When something bad happens, we tend to relive the event over and over in our heads. We step onto this merry-go-round and we rehash the pain the event has caused. This process is called rumination; it is the proverbial cognitive spinning of the wheels, and it doesn’t move us forward toward healing and growth.

The practice of Expressive Writing can move us forward by helping us gain new insights into the challenges in our lives. It involves free writing continuously for 20 minutes about an issue exploring your deepest thoughts and feelings around it. The goal is to get something down on paper. You do not necessarily want to create a memoir-like masterpiece.

Research conducted back in a 1988 study found that participants who did Expressive Writing for four days were healthier six weeks later and happier up to three months later compared t those who did not write or those who wrote about superficial things. The act of writing allows us to slow down our thinking and forces us to confront ideas one by one and give them structure, which may lead to new perspectives.

 

By doing this we are actually crafting our own life narrative and gaining a sense of control. We are also able to find the Finding Silver Linings which requires us to list at least three positive things about the experience or the lessons we learnt through this process. This helps us to become more engaged in our life post the event and increases our optimism over time. This in turn reduces our depression levels suggesting that looking on the bright side is something we have to practice regularly.

 

BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE

 Face your fears

The practices above are helpful for past struggles, ones that we have gained enough distance from to be able to get some perspective pn. What about those knee-shaking fears that we are experiencing in the here and now?

The Overcoming a Fear practice is designed to help with everyday fears that get in the way of life, such as the fear of public speaking, heights, or flying. We can’t talk ourselves out of such fears; instead, we have to tackle the emotions directly.

The first step is to slowly, and repeatedly, expose yourself to the thing that scares you—in small doses.

For example, people with a fear of public speaking might try talking more in meetings, then perhaps giving a toast at a small wedding. Over time, you can incrementally increase the challenge until you’re ready to nail that big speech.

This kind of “exposure therapy” helps us change the associations we have with a particular stimulus. If we have flown 100 times and the plane has never crashed, for example, our brain (and body) start to learn that it’s safe. Though the fear may never be fully extinguished, we will likely have greater courage to confront it.

Practice self-compassion

Fears and adversity can make us feel alone; we wonder why we are the only ones feeling this way, and what exactly is wrong with us. In these situations, learning to practice self-compassion and recognizing that everyone suffers, can be a much gentler and more effective road to healing.

Self-compassion involves offering compassion to ourselves: confronting our own suffering with an attitude of warmth and kindness, without judgment. The Self-Compassion Break, is something you can do any time you start to feel overwhelmed by pain or stress. It has three steps, which correspond to the three aspects of self-compassion:

  • Be mindful: Without judgment or analysis, notice what you are feeling. Name it and acknowledge it.  Say, “This is a moment of suffering” or “This hurts” or “This is stress.
  • Remember that you are not alone: Everyone experiences these deep and painful human emotions, although the causes might be different. Say to yourself, “Suffering is a part of life” or “We have all felt this way at some point in our life” or “We all deal with some kind of struggle in our lives.”
  • Be kind to yourself: Put your hands on your heart and say something like “I give myself compassion” or “I accept myself as I am” or “I will be patient with myself during this time.”

If being kind to yourself is a challenge which it can sometimes be. Consider how you would respond if your best friend were going through what you are going through. How would you respond and support your best friend; what would you say or do for your bestie? Now go and do that for yourself.

Once we start to develop a kinder attitude toward ourselves, we can crystallize that gentle voice into a Self-Compassionate Letter. Just as yo would write words of understanding, acceptance, and compassion towards your best friend write those same words to yourself in a letter.

In the letter, you might remind yourself that everyone struggles, and that you are not alone; if possible, you could also consider constructive ways to improve in the future.

Meditate

As mindfulness gurus like to remind us, our most painful thoughts are usually about the past or the future: We regret and ruminate on things that went wrong, or we get anxious about things that will. When we pause and bring our attention to the present, we often find that things are…okay.

Practicing mindfulness brings us more and more into the present, and it offers techniques for dealing with negative emotions when they arise. That way, instead of getting carried away into fear, anger, or despair, we can work through them more deliberately.

Strong feelings tend to manifest physically, as tight chests or knotted stomachs, and relaxing the body is one way to begin dislodging them. There are thousands of meditations techniques and practices available.The Body Scan is one of the many you can use to focus on each body part in turn—head to toe—and can choose to let go of any areas of tension you discover. Being more aware of our bodies and the emotions we are feeling might also help us make healthier choices, trusting our gut when something feels wrong or avoiding commitments that will lead to exhaustion.

 

Cultivate forgiveness

If holding a grudge is holding you back, research suggests that cultivating forgiveness could be beneficial to your mental and physical health. If you feel ready to begin, it can be a powerful practice.

Both Nine Steps to Forgiveness and Eight Essentials When Forgiving offer a list of guidelines to follow. In both cases, you begin by clearly acknowledging what happened, including how it feels and how it’s affecting your life right now. Then, you make a commitment to forgive, which means letting go of resentment and ill will for your own sake; forgiveness doesn’t mean letting the offender off the hook or even reconciling with them. Ultimately, you can try to find a positive opportunity for growth in the experience: Perhaps it alerted you to something you need, which you may have to look for elsewhere, or perhaps you can now understand other people’s suffering better.

If you are having trouble forgiving, Letting Go of Anger through Compassion is a five-minute forgiveness exercise that could help you get unstuck. Here, you spend a few minutes generating feelings of compassion toward your offender; s/he, too, is a human being who makes mistakes; s/he, too, has room for growth and healing. Be mindful and aware of your thoughts and feelings during this process, and notice any areas of resistance. Research suggests that letting go and forgiveness rather than ruminating on negative feelings or repressing them cultivates compassion, more empathy, positive emotions, and feelings of control.

That is an outcome that victims of wrongdoing deserve, no matter how we feel about the offenders.

Develop mental agility

It is possible, without too much effort , to literally switch the neural networks with which we process the experience of stress in order to respond to rather than react to any difficult situation or person. This quality of mental agility hinges on the ability to mentally “decenter” stressors in order to effectively manage them. “Decentering” stress is not denying or suppressing the fact that we feel stressed, rather, it is the process of being able to pause, to observe the experience from a neutral standpoint, and then to try to solve the problem. When we are able to cognitively take a step back from our experience and label our thoughts and emotions, we are effectively pivoting attention from the narrative network in our brains to the more observational parts of our brains. Being mentally agile, and decentering stress when it occurs, enables the core resilience skill of “response flexibility,” which renowned psychologist Linda Graham describes as “the ability to pause, step back, reflect, shift perspectives, create options and choose wisely.” We often tell our children who are upset to “use your words,” for example, and it turns out that stopping and labeling emotions has the effect of activating the thinking center of our brains, rather than the emotional center a valuable skill in demanding, high-performance workplaces everywhere.

 

How do we see Ourself

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR SELF CONCEPT AND IMPACT YOUR LIFE?

How do we see Ourself

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. – Henry Longfellow

What Exactly is a Self-Concept?

A self-concept is an understanding we have of ourself that is based on our personal experiences, body image, our thoughts, and how we tend to label ourself in various situations.

 

A self-concept can also be defined as an all-encompassing awareness we had of ourself in the past; the awareness we have of ourself in the present, and the expectations we have of ourself at a future time.

 

Our self-concept is built upon how we perceive ourself based on the knowledge we have gained over a lifetime of experiences.

A self-concept is a perception we have of our image, abilities, and [in some ways] of  our own individual uniqueness.

This perception we have of ourself is based on the information we have gathered about our values, life roles, goals, skills, and abilities over time.

Our self-concept is a collection of beliefs we have about our own nature, qualities, and behaviour. It is about how we think and evaluate ourself at any given moment in time.

To truly understand what a self-concept is and its impact on our life, we first need to break down the three components of a self-concept. These three components are based on the work of Humanist Psychologist Carl Rogers.

 

Our Self Image

Our self-image comes down to how we see ourself in the present moment. This includes the labels we give ourself about our personality and the beliefs we have about how the external world perceives we.

It is, however, important to note that our self-image is not necessarily based on reality. For example, a person with anorexia may have a self-image that makes them believe they are obese, however, in reality, that is far from the truth.

Given this, it is crucial to recognize that a self-image is only our own perception of ourself and has no real basis in reality.

Our Self-Ideal

Our self-ideal is how we wish we could be at a future time. This is our ideal self or the ideal person we envision of being and becoming. Often times, how people see themselves and how they would like to see themselves does not quite match up. This is precisely what causes problems and often leads to self-sabotaging behaviour patterns and emotional struggles.

 

Our Self-Esteem

Our self-esteem encompasses our current emotional experiences. It refers to the extent to which we like or approve of ourself or the extent to which we value ourself. We might, for example, have a positive or negative view of ourself. When we have a unfavourable view of ourself, we are seen as having low self-esteem. This often manifests in a lack of confidence and pessimism.

On the other hand, when we have a favourable view of ourself we are seen as having high self-esteem. This often manifests in a confident disposition, self-acceptance, and optimism.

A healthy self-concept will help us to get ahead in life. It will allow us to maximize our potential and get the most from our strengths, talents, and abilities. A weak self-concept on the other hand, will hinder our progress. In fact, a fragile self-concept will most likely lead to self-sabotaging behaviour. As a result, we will struggle to follow through with our actions. Subsequently, we will fail to achieve the goals and objectives we set for ourself.

 

The Value of a Healthy Self-Concept

The value of having a healthy self-concept becomes more evident when we recognize how much it influences our ability to manage our emotional experiences. However, it does not stop there. A healthy self-concept also determines how far we will step outside our comfort zone to solve a problem or achieve a goal. It also influences how we utilize our physiology while confronting challenges, obstacles, and problems.

 

A healthy self-concept impacts the questions we typically ask ourself each day. It also affects how we interact with people, how we think about ourself, others, and circumstances.

 

When we put all this together, our self-concept effectively determines what we will do or choose not to do at any given moment in time. It, therefore, influences our inherent potential to do, be, have and achieve our desired objectives.

 

The Forces Influencing Our Self-Concept

There are a number of forces that shape our self-concept and, therefore, impact its health and vitality over time.

Some of these forces come from internal sources, while other forces come from external sources.

Internal sources include what we think about ourself and/or others, what we pay attention to, how we interpret the events and circumstances of our life, and how we reframe both failure and success.

External sources include the environment we spend most of our time in, our interactions with others, and how other people tend to label us.

The most important thing to note here is the impact that other people have on our self-concept.

Through rejection, judgment, ridicule, and criticism, other people often influence how we feel about ourself, the labels we give ourself, and fundamentally what we believe about ourself, about our own abilities, and the world around us.

In many ways, our self-worth is tied to the people in our life. Therefore, if we are struggling with an unhealthy self-concept, then it could very well be a direct result of the interactions we have with other people.

The bad news is that all of these internal and external sources have a profound impact on our self-concept. The good news is that starting today, we can begin taking affirmative and proactive action to improve our self-concept and optimize how we live our life.

Tell-tale Signs that We Have an Unhealthy Self-Concept

An unhealthy self-concept is something that often drags us down in life. It’s something that limits our opportunities, denies we access to essential resources, and undermines our potential.

An unhealthy self-concept implies that we have a low value of ourself. When we have a low value of ourselves we typically lack the confidence needed to move boldly in the direction of our goals. Without self-confidence, we lack the resourcefulness needed to overcome uncertainty, to solve problems, and to effectively manage change.

Life rapidly gets overwhelming and difficult to bear. We struggle with our emotions and make poor decisions. Everything essentially becomes a struggle and things really should not be this way.

Our unhealthy self-concept is getting in the way of living our life to our best potential. It is filtering out the reality of how life is and creating an alternate reality that we have unfortunately accepted as the truth.

What  is more is that we become so caught up in our own lives, that it is difficult to pinpoint whether or not we are actually struggling with a weak self-concept.

There are, however, specific signs to look out for that can help us identify whether or not we are struggling with a weak self-concept.

We likely have a weak self-concept when we…

  • Fail to give affection.
  • Always compare ourself to other people.
  • Succumb to jealousy.
  • Consistently reject compliments.
  • Perpetually criticise ourself and others.
  • Indulge in negative self-talk that manifests in pessimism.
  • Persistently suffer from guilt about what we could, should, or would have done.
  • Undermine our own personal needs in favour of other people’s needs.
  • Suffer from poor emotional and physical health.

Taken individually these symptoms do not signify that we have a poor self-concept. However, if you have ticked 3 or 4 items off this list, then it is probably a clear indication that your self-concept has taken a hit.

If we have a low self-concept, then it is time to commit yourself to upgrading your thoughts, beliefs, decisions, and actions moving forward. Only in this way will you transform your self-concept and optimize how you live your life.

Given all this, it is important to note that all these signs are nothing more than defensive mechanisms that protect us from emotional harm.

Our body and mind are doing their best to cope with life, events, and circumstances. However, frequently these coping strategies do not quite work to our advantage.

What is worse is that we might succumb to indulging in limiting behaviours in a feeble attempt to feel better about ourself.

We might:

  • Shift into “denial mode” and deny that anything is wrong despite evidence to the contrary.
  • Make assumptions and/or justifications that are not based on fact but rather on our biased “rose-coloured” view of reality.
  • Launch into a verbal barrage where we attack ourself and others based on false perceptions of how we see things.
  • Choose to bask in negativity. Life sucks as it is, so why not just wallow in self-pity and experience the full brunt of our negative feelings?
  • Try and avoid people and circumstances by distracting ourself with addictions and other unhealthy habitual behaviours.

All of these semi-coping strategies might provide us with some semblance of control. They may even provide us with some relief and temporary satisfaction. However, in the long-run, they will only hurt us. We will hurt because we struggle to face the reality of our situation.

We are incapable of facing the truth and without the truth, we won’t make the necessary changes that will transform our self-concept and help us take charge of our life.

How to Improve Our Self-Concept

Transforming our self-concept won’t be easy. In fact, it will take a great deal of patience, time, and effort.

Along this journey, we will likely need to release old habits, limiting beliefs, and unhelpful thoughts. We will essentially need to question the value of how we have been living our life, which includes the choices and decisions we have been making.

If the choices we make are not stretching our comfort zone and pushing us toward our goals then change is something that needs to be on the horizon.

Even though this journey and the inevitable transformation will not be easy, it will, however, be worth your while.

No longer will we be at the mercy of our rose-coloured view of reality. Instead, we will have taken control. With control comes confidence and with confidence comes potential to transform our life with purpose.

It is important to note that the quality of our life is a direct reflection of our emotional state of mind. What this means is that when our emotions are healthy and serving our greater good, then the quality of our life will likewise improve.

Our life improves because life always comes down to the emotional experiences we choose to indulge in. When our emotional experiences are of a healthy and positive nature, this improves the quality of our thoughts. As our thoughts improve so do our choices, decisions, and actions. When we make better choices, we get better results. With improved outcomes, we feel immeasurably better about ourself and when we feel better about ourself, our self-concept grows stronger.

That is, in essence, the key that will help transform a poor self-concept into something that can help optimize how we live the rest of our life.

Lets have a look at the steps we can take to Improve our Self-Concept

Step 1: Make a Personal Contract

Before we begin working through these suggestions, it’s imperative that the very first thing we do is make a personal contract.

Write up a contract with yourself that gives You the green light to initiate the process of change.

Acknowledge that:

Things must change…

I am responsible for this change…

I am committed to making this change…

If for any reason you are unable to tick-off all three boxes, then you are just not ready to instigate change yet.

Let us look at this in a little more detail.

Firstly, acknowledge that changes need to be made. If you are unable to admit that there is something wrong, then there is no point moving forward with this process.

Secondly, you need to take responsibility for making these changes. Nobody is responsible for your life but YOU. Without YOU this can not be done. Only You can make this decision. If at any point you feel or believe or think that someone else is going to or should be involved in this process for you or with you – You are not ready to initiate changes yet.

Thirdly, you must be committed to making the necessary changes to improve our life. Without commitment, there is no motivation and without motivation, there just are just not enough reasons for you to initiate change. You need to know WHY you need to and want to make the changes. Without a solid WHY to keep you motivated things will fall apart.

You therefore, need to acknowledge that things must change, You need to take responsibility for this change, and You need to commit yourself to follow through with the change.

Once you have ticked all three of these boxes, you will be ready to take the first step along your journey toward a healthier self-concept.

Step 2: Discover Who We Are then Bridge the Gap!

Your next step to transforming your self-concept is to discover who you are.

Now, on the surface, this might seem kind of silly. We already know who we are, right? I am me and yo are you! We are a physical beings living a life that is uniquely ours. However, below the surface, we are in reality so much more than that.

So, my question is, do you honestly know who you really are?

What we are going to try and do here is identify the gap between “who we are” and “who we are seeking to become.”

To strengthen our self-concept, we must figure out how to bridge this gap successfully. We must essentially merge the ME [YOU] in the NOW together with the ME[YOU] in the FUTURE.

This, of course, is not going to be easy. In fact, there will always be some kind of discrepancy. This is important to understand because without a discrepancy there is no motivation to grow and develop ourselves over time.

However, if this discrepancy is too significant between the YOU of today and the YOU that you  desire to become in the future then your self-concept will never bloom into its full potential. There must, therefore, be congruence, or otherwise, self-actualization is impossible.

With this in mind, take time to answer the following questions:

Who am I?

Who am I really?

Who am I physically?

Who am I socially?

Who am I emotionally?

Who am I spiritually?

Who am I in terms of my accomplishments?

Who am I in terms of my failures and mistakes?

Who am I in terms of my goals?

Who am I in terms of my social roles?

Who am I really? Why?

Who am I not? Why not?

The purpose of these questions is to identify how we see ourself in the present moment and then compare that against the final set of questions laid out below. The final set of questions focuses on what kind of person we are seeking to become.

As we go through each question, we will gain various insights and perspectives into who we are. And that is perfectly okay. Embrace these differences, because this is in essence how we see ourself each day.

It is also important to note that there are no incorrect answers. Things are the way they are.

What is most relevant here is whether or not these answers are congruent with the answers we give to the following set of questions:

Who am I ideally seeking to become?

How do I see myself in the future?

What kind of person is this person? What is this person like?

What kinds of qualities does this person have?

How does this person think?

How does this person talk to themselves?

What kind of questions does this person ask themselves?

What kind of emotions does this person experience?

What kind of habits does this person indulge in?

What experiences does this person have each day?

What kind of goals is this person working towards?

What kind of person is this person really?

Our ideal self must be congruent with our perceived self in the present moment.

If there is a significant difference between the two, then we must work on bridging that gap thereby strengthening our self-concept.

Let’s take a closer look at that gap.

Ask ourself:

What is the gap between my perceived self and my ideal self?

Where is the gap most significant?

Where is the gap not so significant?

Is the distance between the gap realistic?

How could I begin bridging this gap starting today?

 

Our objective for the remainder of this journey is to begin bridging that gap between our ideal self and the self we are experiencing at this very moment.

The more congruent both of these “selves” are, the stronger and healthier our self-concept will become.

Before moving on, I do have a few words of caution.

Our self-ideal must be realistic and achievable otherwise, we will struggle to meet our highest standards of performance. Subsequently, our self-concept will continue to suffer.

The key therefore is to ensure that our self-ideal is not entirely out of this world at least not at the beginning.

Given this, be sure to look at your standards and expectations to make them more achievable. Only when you reach these set standards and expectations should you incrementally raise the bar higher.

Remember though that your self-image is often not based on reality BUT rather based on your interpretation of reality.

Therefore, if your self-image is based on false assumptions or distorted perspectives, then you will first need to work through these issues before moving through the process outlined here.

Our discussion here is more about using this process to help build our self-confidence so that we can then take the necessary action steps to achieve our desired goals and objectives.

 

Time to Make Some Key Changes to Improve Our Self-Concept

Below you will find numerous suggestions and guidelines to help you transform your self-concept. Some of these suggestions are easy and quick to implement, while others might take a little time.

What is, however, crucial here is what you focus on while making these changes. This essentially comes down to three fundamental things:

  • Changing Your habits of thought.
  • Changing Your self-talk.
  • Changing Your belief systems.

No matter how we proceed, every particular change we desire to make comes down to just these three fundamental things.

No matter what ideas we decide to implement, be sure to always keep in mind how these changes can be made in relation to your thoughts, self-talk, and the belief systems that govern your subconscious behaviour.

Let us work through the following ideas and this will start making more sense.

Our first objective is to look within and become very consciously aware of our daily thoughts, self-talk, belief systems, psychological rules, and the questions we tend to ask.

Ask ourself:

Are my thoughts aligned with my self-image?

What kind of thoughts do I allow myself to dwell upon?

What are these thoughts doing to me?

How do these thoughts make me feel?

How do I tend to talk to myself?

What questions do I tend to ask myself?

What are the consequences of my self-talk and the questions I ask myself?

What do I tend to believe about myself?

What do I tend to believe about my abilities?

Is this congruent with my self-ideal?

How does all this make me feel?

How do these “rules” influence my daily undertakings?

Are all these things congruent with my self-ideal?

How can I make the necessary adjustments to match my self-image with my self-ideal?

Our objective is to reach congruence in these areas.

Our self-image will never directly align with our self-ideal. However, we can certainly make the necessary adjustments to our mindset to move in the right direction.

To assist you with this transition process, it is necessary to give yourself time for meditation and visualization.

Meditation will help clear the clutter in your brain. It will encourage you to think and act more mindfully throughout the day. This will subsequently improve your ability to make effective decisions. Visualization, can provide you with the necessary vision you need to better understand your future direction. This will likewise help you lay down a much clearer path toward your desired outcomes.

Remember, that how we think about things has a lot to do with our perceptions and interpretations of reality.

Interpreting things one way will give you access to a particular set of resources and opportunities. However, interpreting things another way will provide you with access to a different set of resources and opportunities. Ironically, it might even deny you access altogether.

It is therefore paramount to keep in mind that how we frame and/or reframe our experiences essentially determines what we gain or lose from those experiences.

Therefore, when problems arise, it is not what happens to us, but how we interpret what happens that makes all the difference.

Transforming Our Physiology

When it comes to our physiology, it is important to remind ourselves that the body and mind are intrinsically connected.

What this means is that how we think and how we emotionalize our experience influences how we use our physiology. Likewise, how we use our physiology influences how we think and emotionalize our experiences. These are both interconnected, and therefore what we do to one directly influences the other.

With that in mind, have a think about your body and how you use it throughout the day. Do you move your body with confidence, or do you tend to move it sluggishly? What about your breath and posture? What is that like? How active are you during the day or do you tend to spend your days confined to a specific room or area without much movement?

By making small adjustments to our physiology, we will indirectly influence our inner world. As our inner world changes we will begin bridging the gap between where we are today and our ideal self.

Improve Your Lifestyle Choices

Try this little exercise. Close your eyes and see Your Ideal Self. What do you look like?

When it comes to your lifestyle, you need to start making some choices that will help move you toward your ideal self.

Ask ourself:

What kind of life does my ideal self live?

How often does my ideal self exercise?

What kind of food does my ideal self eat?

What kind of environment does my ideal self spend the majority of time in?

What does my ideal self spend time on?

How does my ideal self tend to work? Where? On what?

What kind of lifestyle choices does my ideal self make?

How can I begin bridging the lifestyle gap between where I am today and my ideal self of tomorrow?

As we go through these questions, we will get a strong sense of the changes we might need to make to bridge the gap between where we are today and our ideal self.

Above all else, keep reminding yourself that it is all about reaching a state of congruence where your current self (self-image) matches your future self (self-ideal) on as many levels as possible.

Strengthen Your Self-Confidence

When we have an unhealthy self-concept, we will typically struggle with our self-confidence.

If we struggle with self-confidence, we are often very susceptible to falling prey to rejection, to criticism, to judgment, and to the influence of others.

To strengthen our self-confidence, we need to explore self-love. Before we can feel confident in the external world, we must first find confidence in ourself and that comes through self-love.

Self-love means fully accepting ourself despite your flaws, despite our weaknesses, and despite our inadequacies. It means feeling comfortable in our own skin no matter what we look like or how we feel. To find our self-love, spend time with yourself. However, do not just spend time watching mindless television, actually, spend time pampering ourself. Get a massage, enjoy a hot sauna, go for a nature walk, etc.

First and foremost, the key is to reconnect with yourself. It is only when we have found that connection with yourself that you will tap into your true sense of confidence.

Gain Relevant Knowledge and Skills

Your ideal self-has certain skills, knowledge, and abilities. Identify what these things are and then go to work acquiring the relevant knowledge and skills you need to help bridge the gap between your self-image and your self-ideal.

You will often find the information you need in books, by taking courses, by volunteering  your time to a cause, or by connecting with people who already have the knowledge and skill you desire.

You could, get a mentor or life coach. Find someone who could guide you along your journey toward your self-ideal.

Build Your Support Network

As we work on developing our knowledge and skills, we will most certainly need support along our journey. We will need people to help us through the tough times and struggles. We will need people that can be relied upon for emotional support and we will need people who will accept us unconditionally without strings attached. 😉

These people must, be positive, inspiring, creative, passionate, and caring. They must be giving and generous, joyful, and happy souls. These are the kinds of people that should comprise your support network.

Our support network might, be made up of friends, colleagues, family members, life coaches and/or mentors. These people will be there to prop you up when you are facing difficulties. They will be there to help keep you motivated, focused, and inspired as you make progress toward our ideal self. Your support network will be your voice of reason, and your sanity check and most of all these are the people who will hold you accountable.

Use your support network for guidance and direction. However, don’t give up control of your own life by putting your destiny in other people’s hands. This will never work out well in the long-run. You must be in charge of your own choices and decisions. To be in charge means not concerning yourself with what others think. It means not worrying about criticism or rejection and it means not comparing ourself with others.

We are all on our own unique path. Our support network is there to support us, but ultimately we make the final decision that determines the direction we will take.

Set Inspiring Goals

Having inspiring goals means that our life has purpose and meaning. This keeps us motivated and active. However, we don’t just want to set random goals. We actually want to set goals that match our self-ideal.

So ask ourself:

What goals is my ideal self working towards?

What purpose is my ideal self striving for?

What inspires and motivates my ideal self?

Once you have your answers to these questions, set some inspiring goals and lay down a plan of action that will help you bridge the gap between where you are today and where you ideally would like to be in the future.

Concluding Thoughts

Building a healthy and robust self-concept no doubt takes some work and consistent effort. In fact, it takes time. This is not something that we can build or transform overnight. Likewise, it is not something that we work through once and then forget about for the rest of our life.

Transforming our self-concept is something that we need to work on consistently over time. It is something that must continuously change and evolve as we reach new milestones along our life’s journey.

This journey certainly does not need to be difficult. There is no need to complete this process in one go, or even set timeframes to it. Take your time. Set small daily objectives, and over many weeks, months and years you will make considerable progress as you sculpt who you are and whom you desire to become.

 

Was this article helpful? – What skills or techniques have you used to transform your concept? Leave a comment I would love to hear from you.

 

Self Confidence

HOW TO BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE

 

Self Confidence

 

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. – Brian Tracy

What it Means to Have Self-Confidence

To have self-confidence means being able to fully accept oneself and others. It also means being free from self-doubt, and having the necessary self-belief and self-assurance to follow through with desired actions and intentions without falling into the trap of indecision or hesitation.

To have self-confidence means not defining your personal value or self-worth on outside sources such as people and outcomes. Self-confidence is  something that comes from within each of us. It comes from a place of “knowing”.

It is not something that you try to do or be, but rather something that you just “are”. It is something that you just  accept wholeheartedly. It is part of you and you are a part of it, and that is why it is called Self-Confidence.

I am not saying that you cannot develop self-confidence. You can most certainly boost your levels of confidence, however, it doesn’t really become part of you until and unless you become one with it.

I can, pretend to be confident, but that is not self-confidence. Pretending to be self confident and acting as if I am confident still comes with doubt and hesitation. When I become “one” with what I am doing and fully let go of the fear of making mistakes, succumbing failure or anything else that frightens me, that is when I begin developing actual self-confidence.

Anyone can decide to feel confident, but a feeling of confidence is fleeting and it often depends on what is happening outside of you. While things are going well you will feel confident, however, if things are not going so well,  that confidence will quickly fade.

As such, true self-confidence cannot be a feeling, it must instead be a part of who you are no matter what is happening around you. For example, imagine undertaking a task you have never done before and saying to yourself one of the following two statements:

I’m feeling confident…

I have self-confidence…

Now, answer, which of these two statements is the more powerful statement? Most people would say that the second statement is the more powerful statement because “to have” something is much more powerful and permanent than simply  “to feel” something. Within this example lies the key to help you develop true and lasting self-confidence.

 

Self-Confidence is Very Much Like a Muscle

Developing self-confidence is not always easy and it does take time. The good news is that it is much like a muscle that you work on at the gym. Imagine for instance doing bicep curls at the gym. Your goal is to develop muscle growth, however, you will fail to achieve muscle growth if you make any of the following assumptions:

  • Expect that your muscles will grow significantly after one or two sessions.
  • Expect that you will achieve muscle growth by lifting very light weights.
  • Expect that you will attain muscle growth by working out inconsistently.

We all realize that these are flawed ways of thinking about muscle growth when it comes to working out at the gym. Your bicep muscles will only grow significantly after several weeks, months and years of training. Only when you keep increasing the intensity as you improve and consistently commit yourself to working out for an extended period of time, will you finally see the results you are looking for. We can of course throw in the importance of rest, nutrition, and other factors into the mix, but for the most part, that is how you grow your muscles.

Similarly, that is also how you develop your self-confidence.

Your level of confidence is just like any muscle in the body. It only grows stronger when you use and develop it by taking action towards a goal, over time. Breaking through your fears; gaining new experiences; and daily self-acceptance and self-love are what is going to build self-confidence.

You can only develop self-confidence when you fully accept yourself and cultivate self-love.  Without these, self-confidence cannot grow and become a part of you.

The sad fact is that most people never fully accept themselves, and that is where their problems lie. Without self-acceptance, they just do not have enough faith in themselves to follow through with their actions. They just do not trust themselves to get the job done. Without faith and trust, there is no real self-love and by extension without these elements in place, true self-confidence cannot exist.

Often times these people will try to “fake it to make it” and pretend to feel confident in order to overcome a fear or get through a difficult situation, but this seldom works; why…because they make the same three mistakes.

They expect:

  •  their confidence will improve significantly after a couple of tries.
  • to see a big boost in their confidence by doing small things that never take them too far outside their comfort zone.
  • that working on their confidence occasionally by making small changes which really doesn’t take too much out of them will create lasting change.

These tactics do not work for developing your bicep muscle, and they certainly will not work when trying to develop your self-confidence. I am not saying that we can’t develop confidence by taking small steps. Small steps in the right direction will help and is a good strategy. However, it is  a bit like lifting those tiny weights and never increasing the resistance. Without additional resistance, the muscle is not being put under enough strain in order to grow.

Likewise, without pushing yourself beyond what feels comfortable into the realm of discomfort, your confidence will also not grow. This is of course where  we do need to be completely honest with ourselves about whether we are ready to make the changes necessary to build self -confidence. Telling ourselves and others that we want to; is only the first small step. Being ready and willing to actually make the changes is of course a very different conversation. We must be willing to get very uncomfortable in order to begin boosting our confidence levels.

The Self-Confidence Self-Analysis Process

Before delving into methods to help you develop true self-confidence, it is important to  understand  where your starting point is, when it comes to your current level of confidence in areas that matter most.

First and probably most important of all, it is important to fully accept where you are currently in your life. Take time to acknowledge your fears and insecurities and how they are preventing you from moving forward.

Ask yourself:

What insecurities do I have about various aspects of my life?

What fears are holding me back in these areas?

Fully accepting your answers to these questions will help to pave the way forward for positive change.

Your next step is to acknowledge areas of your life where you feel confident. These are your greatest areas of strength and accomplishment.

Ask yourself:

Where do I feel most confidence?

What am I good at doing?

What’s something worthwhile that I have accomplished?

How does all this make me feel?

Your answers to these questions will help you to get a sense of what true self-confidence feels like.

The next step will be to transfer the self-confidence you have in these areas of your life into areas where you are lacking in confidence. How? by doing more of what you do to make you feel confident.

Your final step is to acknowledge some of the goals you would like to accomplish but can’t at the moment because you’re lacking in self-confidence.

Ask yourself:

Which area in my life specifically would I like to be more confident in?

What specifically would I like to be more confident with? Specify the time, place and situation. Perhaps create some SMART goals

How exactly do I want to be in this area of my life?

Why is all this important? Why do I want this so badly?

What will having self-confidence in this area of my life allow me to do?

Notice I did not mention “feeling confident” above. Feeling confidence can certainly be a first step towards having self-confidence, however, most people never get beyond that “feeling” in the areas that matter most.

This is a barrier you must cross if you desire to accomplish your goals.

Having acknowledged the areas of your life where you would like to feel more confident, will help you to know and recognize the obstacles that are likely to prevent you from moving forward towards being confident.

Ask yourself:

What obstacles could I likely face along this journey?

What specifically will these obstacles prevent me from doing?

How will I handle these obstacles when they arise?

Many people struggle with identifying obstacles because obstacles are scary. These are often elements that we would rather not face, yet many of these obstacles are inevitable. Sooner or later these will show up in your life, and if you are not ready and able to deal with them, you will slide right back into the confines of your comfort zone.

Acknowledging what obstacles you are likely to face can be overwhelming and can potentially weaken any sense of confidence you originally had when you set your goal(s). However, we can very easily shift perspectives and look at obstacles differently by taking the time to understand potential obstacles you might face can help boost your levels of confidence as long as you develop a plan on how to overcome them.

The act of “having a plan” in place to successfully move beyond obstacles will help you develop a deeper sense of confidence. This is by no means “self-confidence” as there is still plenty of hesitation and doubt, but you are making progress in the right direction. having a plan to deal with obstacles also allows us to be mentally prepared for any potential setbacks or hurdles which could scupper our progress. When you have a plan you are prepared and therefore not caught off guard and you know exactly what to do to navigate the hurdles.

Shifting Perspective About the Obstacles You Face

It is important to acknowledge above all else that self-confidence is a state-of-mind. It is not something you do, but rather something you “are”. It is a mindset you bring into every situation, and that is what makes all the difference.

When you are self-confident you naturally see failure, rejection, criticism, embarrassment, uncomfortable change or a mistake you made in a very different light compared to the person who does not have that same level of self-confidence. This difference in how you think makes all the difference in how you handle situations.

For most people, these kinds of circumstances are difficult to face.

It is very easy to get down on ourselves when facing failure, criticism, and rejection for instance. Just the very thought of these circumstances immediately makes people cringe and their confidence quickly plummets. Why? because their confidence comes from a “feeling” rather than a sense of “being”. They feel confident only when circumstances are favorable. However, the moment things change and they face adversity, they panic and as a result, their confidence level sinks.

The key to developing self-confidence is to begin progressively shifting how you see/perceive these circumstances. You can either choose to see things more favourably than the more unfavourably, however, the choice is always yours to make.

So how do people who have a tremendous amount of self-confidence perceive failure, rejection, embarrassment, fear, criticism,  uncomfortable change and making mistakes? How do they consistently play out these circumstances in their mind? Well, let’s take a look.

A Perspective for Failure

People who are highly of self-confident see failure as an inevitable part of life. They understand that the more risks they take the more likely the chances of failure are. Simultaneously though, they also appreciate that the more risks equal higher probability of success and they are okay with that. They realize that failure is simply a part of success. In fact, they see failure as nothing more but a stepping stone to success because every failed attempt provides feedback. They use this feedback to make better choices and decisions in the future. That is why their self-confidence never fades.

For a comprehensive analysis of what it means to fail, please read Understanding Failure and Overcoming Failure.

A Perspective for Making Mistakes

People who have high levels of self-confidence see each mistake as an opportunity to learn and grow. They do not see failure as a person affront or an attack but rather they view failure as a learning opportunity. They learn about what worked and what didn’t work; what played out as expected and what did not. This allows them to make the necessary tweaks and improvements which will lead them to success in future attempts.

They use this knowledge and information to do better the next time around. In fact, they see that the more mistakes they make the more wisdom comes from experience and the insight they into what works and what does not work. The more they “know of” what doesn’t work, the better their odds of success are the next time around. That is the way they see mistakes, which is why their self-confidence does not waver when mistakes are made.

For a comprehensive analysis of what to do when mistakes are made, please read Learning from Mistakes.

A Perspective for Facing Rejection

People who have high levels of self-confidence never take rejection personally. They understand that rejection can often result from a misunderstanding of some kind. Clear up the misunderstanding and that by itself can clear up the rejection. However, they also do recognize that at times other people simply have differing beliefs, values, and opinions, and as a result, they will never look favorably upon them or their opinions. That’s just how life is. People are different and that’s what makes us unique in our own right. They accept that this is a fact and just move onto the next person who could have more similar values, beliefs, and opinions, and that is why their self-confidence never wavers.

For a comprehensive analysis of how to handle rejection, please read Understanding Rejection and Handling Rejection.

 

A Perspective for Facing Criticism

People who have high levels of self-confidence clearly understand the value of criticism. They accept that every piece of criticism provides them with valuable feedback that they use to better themselves; to better their ideas; or to better their approach. Even when criticism does not come across as constructive, they still take it on board and try and use it to create positive changes in their lives.

They also realize that some people’s criticism has nothing to do with them but rather everything to do with the other person. The other person might just be feeling angry or frustrated; maybe they had a bad day, or maybe they are envious of them for some reason. Often people will throw harsh criticism at others because they either do not quite understand or they are just struggling with their own self-esteem issues.

Self-confident people understand this, and that is why their self-confidence never wavers.

For a comprehensive analysis on how to face criticism, please read How to Handle Criticism.

A Perspective for Dealing with Fear

People who have high levels of self-confidence understand that fear exists primarily because of uncertainty. Anything new that they have not done before will always bring with it a little uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes fear.

However, they are not phased by fear because they recognize that feeling fear signifies that they need to be more focused and patient. They must take their time to practice and gain the necessary experience to turn what was once “uncertain” into something more certain. And that, of course, comes with the experience of gaining new skills, knowledge, support and/or the tools that are required to help them move through this uncertain situation successfully. They challenge their fear head-on and watch it disintegrate over time. That is why their self-confidence never wavers.

For a comprehensive analysis on how to deal with fear, please read Understanding FearConquering FearOvercoming Fear and Eliminating Fear. These titles may sound similar but each article tackles fear from a different perspective.

A Perspective for Handling Embarrassment

People who have high levels of self-confidence aren’t phased by embarrassment. They understand that the fear of embarrassment is simply an extension of the fear of failure and the fear of making mistakes. Those two fears are simply outcroppings of the fear of criticism and the fear of rejection. The result, of course, comes in the form of embarrassment and not wanting to do something because one of these fears is prevalent in one’s life. They clearly understand that feeling embarrassed is all in the eye of the beholder. What one person finds embarrassing, another person will revel in. They overcome this fear by absolutely “owning” everything they do no matter how poorly they do it at first. These people also acknowledge that they are human and they are perfectly imperfect. That is why their self-confidence never wavers.

For a comprehensive analysis on how to get over the fear of embarrassment, please read Overcoming Embarrassment.

A Perspective for Dealing with Uncomfortable Change

People who have high levels of self-confidence see unexpected change as a natural part of life. Just like the seasons change every year, these people understand that life also goes through ebbs and flows throughout a lifetime. They accept these changes and adapt to them accordingly. In fact, often they revel in these changes because they clearly understand that an unwanted change can often bring unexpected benefits and new opportunities that would ordinarily not have occured.That is why their confidence never wavers.

For a comprehensive analysis on how to deal with both expected and unexpected change, please read How to Embrace Change and The Seasons of Transformation.

How to Construct Your Self-Confidence

Let’s now take a look at some guidelines to help you purposefully construct your self-confidence in the days, weeks and months ahead. Some of the suggestions that follow are quite straightforward. However, don’t let that fool you into thinking that you tried this before and it doesn’t work. The key to success is “consistency”. Doing something once or even once in a while will not get you results. It is a commitment to consistent action that will get you the results you desire in your life.

Find Mentors and Role Models

It is said that you are the average of your five closest friends. Therefore if your five closest friends consistently experience low levels of self-confidence, then it is very likely that you also experience the same. The longer you hang around these people the more likely your levels of confidence are likely to plummet. You either raise other people up to a higher level, or they will pull you down to their level.

Given this, it is absolutely critical that we regularly associate with people who will raise our levels of confidence in various situations. I am talking about people who are energetic, upbeat, passionate and inspiring. People who seem naturally confident and capable in any situation, and who will do nothing but encourage you during the toughest of times. Those are the people you need to be around to get a sense of what having self-confidence actually feels like.

However, when it comes to finding mentors and role models it is also important to look outside of your social circle, and turn to books, movies and/or documentaries for guidance and inspiration. Read about how people overcame life’s greatest adversities and get a sense of how they surmounted their lack of self-confidence. It is these real-life stories that will give you a sense of what it takes to rise above all the things that at the moment give you jitters. But reading about these people is one thing; it is a whole step-up when you begin modeling their behavior, decisions, and actions.

Consistently Model of Confident People

Everything in life follows a set of patterns. From the planets to the moon, to the seasons, to the migration of animals, and to the behaviours of human beings. From the largest to the tiniest objects within the universe; absolutely everything follows a very specific pattern. This is good for all of us, especially for those who want to improve their self-confidence. Why? Because self-confidence can be modelled and practiced.

Your peers, mentors and role models who have the self-confidence you are wanting to instil within yourself, are lived out through daily patterns. Their daily patterns are reflected in the way they sit, behave, dress, talk, think, walk, interact with others, and even how they spend their time. Within each one of their actions they “ooze” self-confidence, and that is exactly what you need to bottle-up and drink for yourself.

Have a think about all the people with high levels of self-confidence and ask yourself:

How does this person behave in various situations?

How do they tend to talk even when dealing with uncertainty or when handling pressure?

How do they typically walk? What is their energy and vibe like when they walk?

How do they tend to sit? What is particularly striking about this? What insights can I gather?

How do they interact with others especially when dealing with conflict and other social pressures?

How do they typically dress? What does their style of dress say about them?

How do they tend to spend their time?

How do they think and reflect on their circumstances?

What is empowering about all this?

What do they typically believe about themselves, others and their circumstances?

What skills are they good at?

Why, specifically, are they proficient at these skills? 

 

What additional patterns of behavior can I see that might be of value to help me better understand what it takes to have self-confidence?

Taking the time to answer these questions will provide you with surprising insights about what it takes to “have” self-confidence”. The key then, of course, will be to use this information to make small adjustments in the way you live your life.

 

Ask yourself:

How can I begin modeling these people even in a small way at first?

How can I use this information to help improve my own self-confidence?

For instance, you can begin by dressing the part of a person with self-confidence. Immediately your self-image will improve and as a result, the confidence you have in yourself will expand. Remember, it is all about taking small progressive steps. Do not try to model everything at once.

Start with one thing first until you develop a habit, and then move onto the next thing. With consistent effort, what you started out consciously modeling will eventually become second nature.

For a comprehensive analysis of what it takes to model another person’s behavior, please read Modeling Successful People. Moreover, you might like to gain some practice by Modeling Richard Branson’s Mindset.

Improve Your Physiology

One critical area to work on to help you develop self-confidence rests within your physiology. I have already discussed in detail the link between physiology and our mindset in the Physiology of Excellence article so I won’t go into too much detail here.

However, it is important to point out that how you move your body, how you walk, how you sit and how you breath all have an impact on how you think about the events and circumstances of your life. If you take a little time to compare the physiology of a person with self-confidence and a person without it, you will find that they use their body very differently. In fact, it is worlds apart.

A person who has self-confidence will move faster, breathe more deeply, walk and sit more upright, etc, than a person lacking in confidence who will often move sluggishly, breathe in a shallow manner and sit slouching over. These are all key factors that influence how both these people experience reality. Making adjustments in any one of these areas will immediately transform how you see the world and the circumstances of your life.

Be Curious and Adventurous

People who are self-confident are very curious and adventurous. They are willing to try new things and step outside their comfort zone to expand their horizons. Moreover, they accept the fact that by trying new things they will make mistakes. And all this is okay because they have an adventurous spirit.

Being adventurous is not easy for the person who has close ties to his/her comfort zone. Adventure always begins with a curious mind, and therefore cultivating curiosity is certainly a great place to start.

Curiosity is what will encourage you to step outside your comfort zone, to take risks and chances. It is the one thing that will open your mind to new possibilities and perspectives. Curiosity begins with the act of asking effective questions. The more questions you ask about what exists outside of your comfort zone, the more curious you will become. And with more curiosity, you will naturally develop a more adventurous spirit, which is, of course, a requirement for developing self-confidence.

Set Achievable Goals

In order to stretch your comfort zone and follow your adventurous spirit, you will need to set some achievable goals that are just beyond your comfort zone. These goals should be challenging but reachable with a little work and some discomfort.

Goals are important because these will help you live with a deeper sense of purpose while also keeping you focused and motivated on what is most important. However, effective goals are set using either The GROW Model method or the SMART Goal Setting method. Either style of goal setting can be of value to help you get the results you desire to create in your life.

Always Encourage Others

One very simple and overlooked way to develop your self-confidence comes through encouraging others in times of difficulty. When you encourage others you boost their levels of self-belief and self-confidence. They have someone who supports and believes in them, and that goes a long way towards helping them break down barriers they struggle to move through by themselves.

All this is helpful for you because through the simple act of encouraging others you begin to feel better about yourself. Moreover, people will very often give back to you what you gifted to them. They will encourage you in return, and you now you have someone in your corner who supports you through thick and thin.

That by itself can do wonders to help you develop self-confidence. However, you must be wary not to rely on others in this way for the long-term because they might not always be there for you. You must instead internalize that self-confidence and draw it out of from within. More about that in the self-confidence mindset.

Improve Ability to Solve Problems

One sure way to improve your self-confidence is to become a better problem solver. We often struggle with our self-confidence because of our inability to solve problems. Unfortunately, this is something that we cannot escape from because the sad truth is that problems are simply a part of life. In fact, life is full of endless problems. And your ability to solve those problems essentially determines the quality of life you live.

It is therefore absolutely paramount that you work on developing your ability to solve problems creatively and even commit yourself to using specific models such as the six thinking hats method for solving problems. With practice, what you will find is that your self-confidence will naturally grow from “within” every time you successfully solve one of your life’s  dilemmas. 🙂

Unlocking a Self-Confidence Mindset

Earlier in the article, I mentioned that there is a major difference between “feeling” confident and “being” self-confident. And that “difference” essentially comes down to our mindset.

A person who is feeling confident only feels that way because of how things are externally. The moment circumstances change, their feeling will likewise change and their confidence levels will subsequently be affected.

On the other hand, when someone is self-confident this means that their confidence comes from within themselves. The events and circumstances going on around them are irrelevant.

Therefore, no matter how things change in the external world, their confidence remains at the same level because they gauge their confidence from internal sources. This comes down to “mindset”.

It is the mindset that these people bring into every situation that makes all the difference. Bringing a very specific mindset into a situation influences the decisions one makes and the actions one takes in that particular situation. Therefore a “mindset” in this context is not only about how you think or perceive a situation, it also encompasses how you behave and act in that situation as a result of your thoughts and perspectives.

Let us now take a look at the mindset of self-confidence in a little more detail by breaking down all the relevant components that go into shaping it.

The Qualities of Self-Confidence

When thinking about the individual components of self-confidence, what typically comes to mind?

Maybe

passion or curiosity?

courage and gratitude?

self-discipline, patience, and determination?

Self-confidence is made up of these parts working together as a unit. Therefore in order to develop more self-confidence, it is important to focus on growing yourself in each of these areas. The more you grow and develop yourself in each area, the higher your levels of self-confidence grow.

 

Here is a quick break down of the value of each area:

  • Passion is required to keep you focused and motivated on the highest value activities. It fuels your self-confidence.
  • Curiosity is required to help you gain the insights you need to work through problems successfully.
  • Courage is required to help you face your fears head-on, giving you the self-confidence you need to overcome your problems.
  • Gratitude is required to help you see the blessings in every problem and situation.
  • Self-Discipline is required to help you stay focused and on target for extended periods at a time even when things might not seem to be working in your favour.
  • Patience is required because to have self-confidence you must be willing and able to grow from each experience. Self-confidence only comes through experience, and for that, you need ample patience.
  • Determination is required to help you persist through the difficulties you will inevitably face.

Using Empowering Language

Self-confidence is about how we think about our lives and circumstances, it is also how we tend to talk to ourselves about our lives and circumstances. Those people who are self-confident use empowering language that helps them break down barriers that stop other people in their tracks. But it is not just about the words they speak, it is also about how they express those words and the power of their language that makes all the difference.

Expecting Positive Outcomes

One of the primary differences between a person with self-confidence and a person without it comes down to having positive expectations. A person who has high levels of self-confidence always expects the best. Yes, things will go wrong at times. In fact, Murphy’s Law may come into play time-and-again, however, this does not change their demeanour. They clearly understand that every problem presents an opportunity. It is a blessing in disguise, and they, therefore, look for the positive outcome in every situation, and that is what gives them the confidence to keep moving forward.

Asking Solution-Focused Questions

This, of course, comes back to cultivating curiosity and having the willingness and courage to ask solution focused questions that move you towards your desired outcome. What this habit actually helps you avoid doing is making excuses.

When you ask solution focused questions you cannot make excuses. You are instead looking for answers and potential opportunities that you could take advantage of. That is what is required to develop high levels of self-confidence, because the more questions you ask the better answers you will get and the more you will know what to do the next time around. This will improve your levels of self-confidence.

Challenging Limiting Beliefs

We all have at some level limiting beliefs about certain aspects of our lives. However, self-confidence requires that we consistently challenge these limiting beliefs whenever possible. If you fail to do this then you will lack the necessary self-confidence you are searching for because your limiting beliefs will always get in your way.

These limiting beliefs will sabotage you time-and-again because they are in conflict with your desired actions. Self-confidence simply cannot exist unless and until you eliminate these limiting beliefs from your life. If you ignore this fact, then you will constantly struggle with self-sabotaging forces controlling your life.

Cultivating Laughter and Humour

Laughter and humour are very important for self-confidence because along our journey through life we will undoubtedly face a great many struggles. For most people, the struggles are a burden. Emotionally they struggle to handle these problems and as a result their self-confidence plummets but it doesn’t have to be this way.

People who have self-confidence face problems that they are unable to solve all the time. Typically this would deplete their self-confidence, right? If I can’t solve something I am obviously not feeling very confident about it. But if I laugh about it or find the humour in the situation, then just maybe I can start seeing the situation from a very different perspective. I no longer see myself as a “victim” of circumstance, but rather I see the situation as something I can potentially control because it doesn’t affect me emotionally. And the fact that I mm laughing about it relaxes me and this immediately frees my brain to search for answers.

Upgrading Personal Standards

People who have high levels of self-confidence set very high standards for themselves. Their high standards encourage them to think and act in a way that goes above and beyond how normal people would think and act in typical situations.

These people expect more from themselves in every situation, and because they expect more they are naturally more confident that they can get the job done. Confidence comes from reaching those personal standards, which is why they don’t set standards that are beyond what they are capable of.

They instead set achievable standards and then raise the bar over time and as they gain more experience and confidence. That is one of the key ways to grow your self-confidence over time.

Avoid Self-Confidence Depleting Habits

Self-criticism, procrastination, perfectionism, dwelling on failure and mistakes… all of these things will immediately deplete your levels of self-confidence, which is why people with high levels of self-confidence never dabble in these habits. In fact, they avoid these habits like a plague because they fully understand the negative impact these can have.

Criticizing yourself goes against the habit of curiosity and using humour and empowering language. Dwelling on failure and mistakes go against the habit of gratitude and asking solution-focused questions. Indulging in procrastination goes against the act of setting higher standards.

Perfectionism, this is a form of “patience”, however, it is also a form of procrastination that hides fear and indecision, which certainly does not mesh very well with self-confidence.

Ultimately, you have a choice. You can either choose to indulge in habits that deplete your levels of self-confidence, or you can choose alternate habits that will over time raise your levels of self-confidence. And that choice, of course, is yours to make, so choose wisely by asking:

Is this habit I have chosen for myself building up or tearing down my level of self-confidence?

 

Did you gain value from this article? Please leave a comment I would love to hear form you?  🙂

Bad Career Story

HOW TO BUILD SELF-WORTH

Bad Career Story
I am useless

What is Self-Esteem?

Any discussion about how to build our self-worth must start with a definition of self-esteem. The two are, of course, related. Your self-esteem is undoubtedly influenced by your self-worth. However, they are not the same.

Self-esteem is primarily built upon sources outside of yourself that you don’t actually control.

Self-esteem encapsulates the thoughts and feelings you experience at each moment. These thoughts and feelings have a direct impact on your results, your behaviour, and your performance.

Self-esteem is primarily built upon the value derived from doing the things that get your desired outcomes. But it’s more than just about “doing” something. It is a direct outcropping of how you feel about yourself at any given moment. This is based purely on your actions.

How you feel about yourself is heavily influenced by how you think you are fairing compared to others. In other words, your self-esteem is derived from what you think others “think” of you, based on your results and actions.

Given all this, it is quite clear that self-esteem is not something that comes from within ourselves, but rather something that comes from outside of ourselves and subsequently influences how we feel at any given moment.

How we feel at any given time has nothing to do with reality, but instead, it is purely based on our perspective and interpretation of that reality. Given all this, it’s quite clear to see that self-esteem is very fickle and can shift with changing opinions and circumstances. However, this isn’t true for people who have a high level of self-worth.

A high degree of self-worth naturally enhances our self-esteem, thereby providing us with the self-confidence needed to follow through with our chosen decisions and actions.

What is Self-Worth?

Self-worth is an internal state of being that comes from self-understanding, self-love, and self-acceptance.

It is a state that is somewhat timeless and unchanging because it is a direct measure of how you value and regard yourself in spite of what others may say or do. It is therefore, something that does not quickly or easily change when external factors or circumstances change. Self-worth is steady and unflinching, and therefore, holds power to radically transform your life for the better.

This is, all well and good, but what does it actually mean to have a high level of self-worth?

A high level of self-worth means having a favourable opinion or estimate of yourself. It means having unshakable faith in yourself and in your ability to follow through and get things done.

Having a high degree of self-worth means feeling worthy of good things. It means feeling deserving of happiness, health, wealthsuccess, and love — irrespective of the difficulties you face, the disappointments you experience, or of people’s opinions. It is unflinching.

To have a high level of self-worth means accepting yourself wholeheartedly at all times despite your flaws, weaknesses, and limitations. It is about recognizing the real value of who you are at this present moment.

To have a high level of self-worth means never allowing yourself to be defined by outside forces, including people’s opinions. It means never allowing outcomes to shake your confidence, faith or resolve.

All this essentially means that no matter what happens you are steadfast. Nothing outside of your “being” influences how you feel about yourself. Your influence alone is the only thing that matters.

You alone are the most significant factor in how you feel about yourself, about your life, and about your circumstances. And that is essentially where your personal power comes from.

How to Build Your Self-Worth

Having a high level of self-worth is no doubt of tremendous value. So, the question still remains, how do we go about building our self-worth? How do we create enough self-worth to empower our daily decisions and actions in a way that will help us achieve our desired outcomes?

What I would like to share with you is a five-step process for doing exactly that step-by-step.

This is not something that you can do just once and then forget about. It is something that you must consistently work on. That is the only way you will build anything of real value. Placing one single stone down on the ground doesn’t build a fortress. However, over time, as you lay down more stones on top of each other an impenetrable fortress begins to take shape. This takes time. Building a high level of self-worth will take time.

This is a long-term process that you need to work on consistently over time. The same as you would work out at a gym to get that ripped and toned body. Slow consistent daily work will get the fortress built and will grow more impenetrable and substantial until it becomes almost unbreakable. No matter what life throws at you, because you put in place a solid foundation that you consistently built over time, you will be able to withstand some of the toughest storms life has. That is the strength of the fortress. And that’s precisely where the power of your self-worth comes from as well.

With that in mind, let us jump into the five-step process to build your self-worth.

 

Step 1: The Self-Understanding Stage

Your first step involves getting to know yourself at a deeper and more profound level.

Imagine for a moment that you woke you one morning to find that absolutely everything you had was suddenly taken away. I mean literally everything including your possessions, careermoneyrelationshipsfriendships, accomplishments, and anything else that is physical and tangible. Ask yourself:

What if absolutely everything I have was suddenly taken away from me?

What if all I had left was just myself?

How would that make me feel?

What would I actually have that would be of value?

 

This is an interesting scenario. It is a scenario that many people probably never really take the time to imagine. It is interesting because how you feel about yourself after everything has been taken away is the measure of your self-worth.

If you have a high level of self-worth, then having everything taken away from you won’t change who you are as a person. Furthermore, it won’t shake your self-confidence because you do not measure your value by external circumstances. Instead, your value comes from within.

This is why it is absolutely critical to take the time to think long and hard about that question and answer it with genuine honesty.

 

What would I actually have left that would be of value?

The deeper you dig into this question, the more you will discover within yourself what you do actually value.

You must seriously take the time to ponder this question. The more time you take to consider the answer to this question, the more you will find,  that this is where self-worth is comes from. It comes from understanding that…

No matter what happens externally and no matter what is taken away from me, I am not affected internally.

And that is what matters most when you begin to build your self-worth.

So let us look deeper into your true value by posing another set of questions that will help unlock how you see yourself with no masks or inhibitions.

 

Ask yourself:

Who am I? I am… I am not…

How am I?

How am I in the world?

How do others see me?

How do others speak about me?

What key life moments define who I am today?

What brings me the most passion, fulfilment, and joy?

 

Who you are and how you see yourself are keys to understanding your true value. How others see you and how they speak about you, is also, important. This is not so much about them but rather about how you feel about yourself as a result of how others see or speak about you. That is another measure of your self-worth.

Then there are those key life moments that bring you the most joy, passion, and fulfilment. These are the things that help you unlock the value you bring to the world.

However, this is not about pretty little rose petals and rainbows. This process involves being genuinely real with yourself.

Given this, let’s be real for a moment and take a look at your weaknesses and struggles.

 

Ask yourself:

Where do I struggle most?

Where do I need to improve?

What fears often hold me back?

What habitual emotions hurt me?

What mistakes do I tend to make?

Where do I tend to consistently let myself down?

 

Let us get real and accept the fact that we are only human. And as a human being, we all have our weaknesses and face our own personal struggles. We must be real and honest with our assessment of ourselves.

Only then will you be able to build a high degree of self-worth over time. And only then will you get the depth of understanding you need about yourself to move forward through this process.

And since we are being honest, let’s take a look at your strengths.

 

Ask yourself:

What abilities do I have?

What am I really good at?

Your strengths are the things that help build your self-confidence. They are the things that allow you to move forward with greater self-assurance. However, true strengths are only strengths by your own measure.

If you are relying on other people to tell you whether or not you are good at something, then that is not a true strength that comes from a sense of personal power.

People could very well change their minds then abruptly your strength turns into an afterthought. However, this does not need to be the case if you truly believe in your own personal value. That is what counts, and that is what truly matters when it comes to building your self-worth.

 

Step 2: The Self-Acceptance Stage

At this stage you presumably understand how you see yourself within the world around you. You probably also have a pretty clear picture of your current level of self-worth.

There will naturally be good things, neutral things, and things that you might not be too proud to admit. However, to build genuine self-worth, we must be real and authentic with ourselves at all times. This requires wholeheartedly acknowledging your true nature including the good, the bad, and the ugly.

We are all human and therefore none of us are perfect. Yes, you have flaws, you’ve made mistakes and failed miserably time and again. However, this is you. This is the true you. It is who you are. Perfectly imperfect.

Forgive yourself for everything you have done or not done in the past and accept yourself unconditionally without judgment or excuses.

This is you. This is who you are. Accept that by acknowledging that…

I accept the good, the bad and the ugly.

I fully accept every part of myself including my flaws, fears, behaviours, and qualities I might not be too proud of.

This is how I am, and I am at peace with that.

Fully accepting yourself in spite of all your flaws, weaknesses, and limitations is absolutely critical for developing a high level of self-worth.

This is you. You are being vulnerable, authentic, and real. Embrace who you are fully and completely. Embrace the fact that you will no longer allow outside forces to define you. Only in this way will you finally let go of everything that has been holding you back all these years.

 

Step 3: The Self-Love Stage

Having fully accepted yourself, it is now time to acknowledge your true value. To do this, it is important to begin practicing a little self-love. Which basically means treating yourself with kindness, tolerance, generosity, and compassion.

Yes, you have flaws. Yes, you have so many limitations and weaknesses, but so does the rest of humanity. That is part of being human. It is time to let all that go and begin to practice being compassionate with yourself.

Compassion, of course, comes through self-love, which comes from self-acceptance, which stems from self-understanding. Ironically these are the steps we went through as we moved through this process.

One simple method to begin practicing self-love is to get into the habit of speaking to yourself and about yourself in a positive and supportive way.

I feel valued and special…

I love myself completely…

I am a worthy and capable person…

 

Talking to yourself in this way brings your focus and attention to the beauty hidden within you.

You are no longer looking at outside circumstances or people for approval or acknowledgment. You are instead searching for that approval within yourself. And that is one of the biggest steps you can take toward building your self-worth.

 

Step 4: The Recognition Stage

When you have an understanding  of yourself. When you have fully accepted yourself and when you reach a stage where you practice self-love and self-compassion, that is when people, events, and circumstances no longer define you. You instead begin to define yourself.

Given this, it is helpful to acknowledge and recognize that you no longer need to please other people. Other people have their own opinions, and they have their own life. You also have your own opinions and your own life. No matter what people do or say and irrespective of what happens outside of you, you alone control your own perspective and attitude.

You, hold the power to respond to events and circumstances of your life based on your internal sources, resources, and on your resourcefulness, which are all a reflection of your true value.

It is important to recognize your true value regardless of your earnings, career, possessions, social rank, relationship status, etc. Your true value is no longer measured by these things. It comes from an internal measure that you have set for yourself. That is where true personal power comes from.

 

Step 5: The Responsibility Stage

The final step in this process involves taking full responsibility for your life, for your circumstances, and for your problems. Now it is worth mentioning that I am not saying that you should be a martyr. What I am saying is to taking full responsibility for everything that happens to you  is about owning your contribution to where you are without giving away your personal power.

To take responsibility means to acknowledge that YOU have the personal power to change and influence the events and circumstances of YOUR life.

 

Concluding Thoughts

When you have a high level of self-worth, you are no longer relying on other people to make decisions for you. You alone hold yourself accountable, and you alone hold the power to make positive changes in your life.

There is no more complaining, blaming, judgment, or excuses.

You now hold the power…

Today is not a good day

  • Because you fully trust yourself and trust your ability to make decisions that put you in the driver’s seat of your life.
  • Furthermore, you are no longer are you swayed by the changing winds.
  • You are steady and self-assured.
  • You understand who you are, you accept yourself fully, love yourself unconditionally, and recognize that you are the captain of your ship.
  • Regardless of the circumstances happening around you and in spite of the rumours of mutiny, you are focused and able to stay the course.
  • You make adjustments on the fly, and you take charge of your ship.
  • You are not rattled or phased by external circumstances.
  • Yes, the outside world is a crazy mess, however, your inner world is as steady as can be; and that is what makes all the difference.

These are the things that keep you safe and it is all because you took the time to build your self-worth.

 

Did you gain value from this article? Is it important that you know and understand this topic? Leave a comment below I would love to hear from you.🙂

HOW TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE YOUR OWN SUCCESS IN ITS TRACKS!

But I do nothing upon myself, and yet I am my own executioner. – John Donne

Are You Caught Up in a Repeating Cycle of Self-Sabotage?

Have you ever wanted something so badly… for so long… trying so damn hard… but time and again you ended up failing miserably?

Have you ever set goals and objectives that you just didn’t or couldn’t reach?

Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns of behavior over and over again and keep getting precisely the same pitiful results?

All of us at one point or another go through these repeated cycles and phases. In fact, many of us go through our standard self-sabotage cycles like clockwork each day. As a result, we rarely live up to our full potential in any area of our lives.

What is more, is that we continuously regret the things we did not do then wonder why we keep getting stuck indulging in these limiting patterns of behaviour.

Given all this, you might be wondering whether there is an answer for getting unstuck? Is there an actual solution for avoiding these repetitive and limiting patterns of behavior?

And the answer to these questions is a resounding YES. There is a solution, but first, we must come to understand what self-sabotage is all about.

What Exactly is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is any behavior, thought, emotion or action that holds you back from getting what you consciously want. It is the conflict that exists between conscious desires and unconscious wants that manifest in self-limiting patterns of behavior.

Self-sabotage prevents you from reaching your goals and plays the part of a safety mechanism that protects you against disappointment.

What this essentially means is that your brain is protecting you from getting hurt by doing what it thinks is best — which is to keep you within the confines of your comfort zone.

The Real Reason Why You Indulge in Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage tends to linger in our lives because of a lack of self-esteemself-worthself-confidence, and self-belief.

Moreover, we suffer from self-sabotage patterns because we have great difficulty managing our daily emotional experiencesWe tend to react to events, circumstances, and people in ways that hinder our progress and prevent us from reaching our goals and objectives.

Self-sabotage is also used as an effective method for coping with stressful situations or high expectations.

For example we sabotage ourselves when we are unable to reach the high bars of expectation that have been set for us. We feel incapable of reaching these expectations and thereby indulge in self-sabotaging behaviour as a means of coping with the situation.

No matter what our reasoning for self-sabotage, it is quite clear that if we do not do something about it, we will continue to live a life full of regrets and unfulfilled expectations.

The Manifestation of Self-Sabotage in Our Lives

Self-sabotage can come in many forms and often manifests in our lives in various ways.

Here is a list of typical methods we tend to use to sabotage our own success.

 

When it comes to our limiting thoughts, we must pay close attention to the excuses we tend to make that prevent us from moving forward. Here are some examples:

This won’t work…

I can’t do this…

I’m too busy right now…

I’m just not ready yet…

I’m just not good enough…

Here are 19 more excuses you’re making that might very well be keeping you stuck.

Each of the patterns listed above has its own set of consequences that manifest in a variety of ways in our lives. Some are very obvious, while others might be a little more difficult to identify.

The key for us here is to list down and pinpoint the thoughts, feelings, and actions that lead us down the path of self-sabotage.

Only then, through conscious self-awareness can we begin to put a stop to these patterns of behavior.

4-Steps for Eliminating Your Self-Sabotage Patterns

There is a simple yet very effective method we can use to eliminate self-sabotage patterns from our lives.

The process involves 4 steps. These 4 steps can help you take conscious control of the behaviours that are currently influencing your choices, decisions, and actions.

These steps include:

  1. Identifying Your Self-Sabotaging Behavior
  2. Recreating Your Self-Sabotage Patterns
  3. Identifying a Healthy Replacement Behavior
  4. Practicing the New Behavior Until a Habit is Formed

Let’s have a look at how each of these work

Step 1: Identify the Self-Sabotage Behavior

Your first objective is to Identify the Self-Sabotaging Behavior that is preventing you from moving forward.

To do this, we must become consciously aware of our daily choices, decisions, actions, and the resulting consequences. Use the list in the previous section to identify the various types of self-sabotaging behaviours you tend to indulge in.

Once your behaviours have been identified, it’s necessary to pinpoint specific triggers that may be causing these behaviours to manifest in your life. These triggers could include people, objects, specific times, events, locations, etc. Ask yourself:

What specifically triggers this behavior?

How exactly does this behavior manifest in my life?

Next, we must ask ourselves whether it’s possible to avoid these triggers altogether.

Simply removing these triggers from our lives we will be better prepared to take conscious control of our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

However, there is another factor that we must take into consideration. This factor is the limiting beliefs we have associated with each particular self-sabotaging pattern.

The key is to identify these limiting beliefs, then work on converting them into positive empowering beliefs.

One of the simplest ways to do this is to question the validity of your belief. Take just two minutes and ask yourself:

What is it that I believe in this situation?

What is it that I believe about myself and my own abilities?

How did my belief about this, trigger my self-sabotage pattern?

How is this belief ridiculous and/or  impractical?

What would others say about this belief?

What is another more helpful perspective I could take of this situation?

These questions are a good starting point. Use these to help you weaken the beliefs that govern your self-sabotaging behavior.

Step 2: Recreate Your Self-Sabotage Pattern

Having worked through the previous step, you should now be able to consciously recreate the self-sabotage patterns by outlining all the triggers and the associated behaviours that manifest as a result of these triggers.

It’s important that you are very clear about how this behaviour manifests in your life before moving onto the next step.

Ask yourself:

How exactly does this self-sabotaging behaviour tend to manifest in my life?

What typically triggers this behaviour and how?

What patterns am I seeing that could help me to better understand this behaviour at a deeper level?

Once you have a good understanding of the patterns surrounding this behavior, you can move on to the next step.

Step 3: Identify a Healthy Replacement Behaviour

To eliminate an old pattern of behaviour, we must first replace it with a new pattern that is more practical and helpful.

This is fundamental…why … because at times it is difficult to avoid certain triggers such as people, objects or circumstances that cause us to react in unresourceful ways.

We must take time to develop a more resourceful and appropriate way of responding.

Ask yourself:

How could I respond in a more appropriate, resourceful, and practical way that would help me get what I want in this situation?

How and why is this a better way to respond in this situation?

What are some reasons for making this change?

What are the long-term benefits of changing how I respond in this situation?

What are the key advantages of this new behavior?

Remember that change will not happen if there is a lack of motivation behind that change.

If you cannot find reliable enough reasons to make a change, then you simply won’t have the necessary desire or drive to follow through with the change.

Step 4: Practice the New Behavior Until a Habit is Formed

Once you have identified your new behavior, you must now take the time to practice implementing it as often as possible until a new habit is established.

To do this, begin by going through your response (your healthy replacement behavior) to the situation in your imagination. See every detail in large pictures with lots of colour or music or anything else that is fun for you. Feel the positive energy churning through your body as you continue to enlarge the details of your new habit. Do this a few times daily and each time add more colour, more fun to your picture in your head and very soon you will overcome the old self-sabotaging pattern.

Now that your imagination has been activated, you are ready to put yourself in real-world situations that will naturally trigger your old patterns of behaviour. This time though, you are primed with a new response mechanism that you will continue to practice over the next four weeks until a new empowering habit is formed.

 

10 Practical Ideas for Eliminating Self-Sabotage

To eliminate our self-sabotage patterns, we must make a concerted effort to stay conscious and aware of our behaviours and actions at all times.

At the same time, it’s helpful to put into action a variety of strategies and tactics that can help to eradicate these behaviours once and for all.

Here are 10 suggestions for you to experiment with.

Consistently Learn from Mistakes

Take time at the end of the day to reflect on how you responded to events and circumstances.  Learn from these mistakes and experiences by writing down how you will respond differently tomorrow and in the future.

The more you reflect and learn, the better prepared you will be to face these scenarios in the future.

Think Bigger and Bolder

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own destructive patterns of behavior that we lose sight of what’s most important. When we have a narrow  focus, we fail to see the bigger picture.

Given this, it can, therefore, be helpful to take the time to think bigger and bolder. This can help you to expand your understanding and perspective of the situation.

Ask Better Questions

Questions are the keys to the locks that hold our problems in place.

Asking better and more effective questions, we naturally gain a different perspective on our situation. This can help us to become more consciously aware of the self-sabotage patterns that are ruling our lives.

Ask yourself:

What have I learned from this experience?

What would I do differently given another opportunity?

What could the potential benefits be?

How will changing my response allow me to get what I want faster?

The questions you ask will help expand your choices and options moving forward. Giving yourself more choices and options you will be in a better position to work through your self-sabotaging behaviours in optimal ways.

Treat the Process of Change as an Experiment

Just like we did not master the process of walking in one day, changing old habits will also not happen in one day. However, it does happen over time.

When you took your first steps, you must have stumbled more than once. However, you got back up and continued to struggle until you eventually mastered the mechanics of walking. It was one of your little life experiments that I imagine you succeeded at over time. 🙂

The process of change is precisely the same. Treat it as an experiment that will take some time and effort.

You will probably not be victorious after the first or even second attempt. However, over time you will get better at it  as long as you persist. Eventually you will win the war over your self-sabotage patterns.

 

Seek Advice from Other People

It’s important to always ask for help .Seek advice from people who have had practical experience dealing with what you are currently struggling with. Trust me, you are not the only one who is /or has gone through this. They know from personal experience the struggles you are likely to face along the way. They will, therefore, be more than happy to  give you practical advice and suggestions that have helped them; to try. You never know if one of those pearls of wisdom will allow you to move beyond your self-sabotage patterns.

 

Make Sure to Plan in Advance

We often struggle through life when we do not know what to expect, or have little to-no-idea how circumstances will unfold.

However, when we begin to lay down solid plans for how we will respond to situations, people, and circumstances, we begin taking control of our lives.

While laying out these plans; take a moment to consider possible challenges and obstacles that you might face along the way. Acknowledge that  obstacles may exist, then consider how you will respond if or when these occur. Even if you don’t deal with these effectively at the time, you will at the very least learn from your experience. This will allow you to adjust your approach the next time around.

 

Focus on Exploring Solutions

Sometimes we get so caught up in our own inadequacies and limitations that all we see are problems and setbacks. This particular way of looking at life only leads to further challenges.

Instead, take time to consider possible solutions to the problems you are dealing with. This begins by asking more effective questions that focus your brain on finding answers, insights, and ideas, not problems.

 

Adjust Your Expectations

Our expectations can sometimes lift us up to new heights, or they can demoralize us emotionally. This is why it is so important to always keep our expectations in-check. Managing expectations ensure that we are not aiming too high too quickly and allow us to avoid  disappointment.

 

Set your expectations high, however, give yourself permission to be flexible to make changes should  your circumstances, conditions, and resources change.

Remind yourself that you didn’t master the process of walking in one day. You instead mastered it over time. The same is true when it comes to mastering your own behaviour patterns.

 

Take Intelligent Risks

More often than not, those who take more risks have fewer regrets than those who play it safe and struggle with uncertainty. The same is true when it comes to transforming your behaviour.

You need to take risks, you need to take a chance on yourself, and you need to snap out of old unresourceful limiting patterns of behaviour that no longer serve you.

 

The best time to start making changes was yesterday. The second best time is Right Now.

The only person can make the change is YOU.

 

Take Time for Self-Reflection

The people who get ahead in life are the ones who actually take the time to consistently think through their daily choices, decisions, and actions.

Successful people learn from what worked or failed to work. They adjust their course of action by taking a different approach.

Only through self-reflection will you gain the necessary insight, perspective, and understanding to begin the process of change and transformation.

 

Concluding Thoughts

Self-sabotage is like a grenade that suddenly and unexpectedly explodes; pushing us away from our deepest wants and desires. However, there are no excuses, because we are the ones who consciously control the movement of the pin.

It is therefore, up to us to make the decision that we will no longer fall prey to our self-sabotaging patterns of behavior ever again.

 

The choice is yours. It’s in your hands. You now know what to do and how to do it. The real question is when will you get started? When will you finally commit to putting an end to the self-sabotaging behavior that is preventing you from living the life you truly desire to live? Are your goals  worth making the change? Are you worth making the change? 🙂

 

What have you done to change your limiting beliefs? Leave a comment – I would love to hear from you.

Limiting Beliefs

How to Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

I have had so many amazing responses from a previous post on Limiting beliefs I though it might be useful to add to this theme by also giving some thought to How to Identify your Limiting beliefs. I really hope this provides as much help and insight as the previous post on limiting beliefs did.

Limiting Beliefs
What do I believe about myself?

To change anything, you must first identify it.

It’s important to stay relevant.

We all have tons of limiting beliefs, but the truth is that many of these really do not affect our lives in any significant way so are pretty irrelevant.

The limiting beliefs that are going to have the greatest impact on our lives however are the ones that we need to deal with and replace with new beliefs.

Once you have dealt with the beliefs that have the greatest impact  on your life you can work on those that have a less significant impact.

Part of moving forward is focusing on the most important issues in your life.

Remember to keep that in mind as you go through the process of discovering your limiting beliefs:

Start by making a list of the areas in your life where you feel challenged.

If you have an area of your life that displeases you and you are not actively doing something to repair it, then there is a fairly good chance that you have a limiting belief lurking. We can assume that if that were not the case; would it not make sense that you would just fix the issue or change the situation? Do you need some help making a decision why not do a really quick assessment using the Wheel of Life Tool

Very often Your behavior is an indicator of your beliefs.

Consider how you’re doing in the following areas:

  • Finances. Are you feeling financial pressure in your life? Do you have all the things you need or really want? How much money do you have in savings? Do you have the income you desire? Is that income secure?
  • Relationships. Are your relationships satisfying and fulling? Do you feel the connection you want to feel in your relationships?
  •  Consider your intimate relationship as well as your relationships with your family, friends, and co-workers.
  • Health. Are you taking good care of yourself? How is your weight? Do you go to the doctor regularly for check-ups?
  • Fun & Adventure. Are you doing the things you really want to do? Do you dream of going overseas but haven’t been yet? Do you want to learn to play the guitar but never have?
  • Any other aspect of your life in which you’re experiencing dissatisfaction. Think about any other areas of your life where you’re less than satisfied. If you’re not pleased with your life, a limiting belief could be the cause.

 

# Identify the beliefs that are contributing to your challenges.

Make a list of all of your beliefs, good and bad, regarding the challenges you identified above.

Don’t attempt to filter them as positive or negative while carrying out this process — just get them all listed as you brainstorm and examine them later.

Here’s a short example around money:

  • I’ll never be wealthy.
  • Rich people are dishonest.
  • I will never have enough money to have a nice house.
  • If I’m rich, people will try to steal from me.
  • My friends will treat me differently if I have a lot of money.

Can you see why it would be difficult to make a lot of money if you believe these things?

# Identify the beliefs that are holding you back.

Think about which beliefs are having the greatest negative impact on your life.

One way to do this is to consider how your behavior would change if that belief were eliminated from your life.

Don’t just guess which beliefs are the most damaging.

Genuinely examine them and consider the change that your life would experience if you weren’t held back by that belief.

 

# Put those negative beliefs in order.

Start with the limiting belief that you feel is creating the most challenge in your life.

Put them all in order from the belief having the greatest negative impact to the least.

It makes sense to spend your time where it’s going to do the most good.

Prioritizing your time is always a valuable strategy.

Now that you have a list of your limiting beliefs and have them in order, it’s time to start dealing with them.

How To Take Control Of Your Career Development In 6 Easy Ways

The DIY concept is not new. We have DIY for home improvements, personal makeovers, self help, and pretty much any every art or creative activity known. There are instructional videos, plugins, plug and play option to do just about anything you can think about and we are so comfortable with this. We don’t think it is strange or unusual at all. In fact by all accounts we love it. We like the idea of learning to do new things and finding our how-to by simply popping the question into a search engine.

But how many of us think about a DIY option for our careers. Research suggests that many people are still leaving this crucial element of our lives in the hands of a manager. Many people are still asking what can you do for me. The truth is the days when“personal development” was treated as a major company initiative is long gone.Organizations today are unknowingly leaving employees with skill gaps and blind spots that can derail their careers and an organizations effectiveness. Managers aren’t helping either because they are too worried about their own hides. Many managers don’t have time or energy or interest to focus on anyone else’s needs.

We are now in the era of do-it-yourself career development. Companies less frequently offer formal training — a trend that has been around for years. This may be because employees change jobs so frequently (job tenure now averages about four years) that firms don’t see the value in investing in people who are likely to leave. Korn Ferry found that when managers rated themselves on 67 managerial skills, “developing others” came in dead last.

Ideally, organizations should do more to foster career development: encourage more-immediate feedback, develop clear performance criteria, deliver developmental feedback with clarity and tact, and provide resources and incentives for managers to make employee development a priority. The reality however, is this burden is on employees. Workers at all levels must learn to identify their weaknesses, uncover their blind spots, and strengthen their skills. Employees must drive their own development within an organisation.

Here are six things you can do to take control of your career development.

Understand what you are evaluated on. What does success look like in your position? What are your job goals and success metrics? It’s best to identify these with your manager, but if that’s not happening, then write down what you understand the goals and key performance indicators to be. Have the discussion with manager and  get their agreement. Engage in an ongoing dialogue to ensure you stay on the right track. Knowing what you will be measured on will keep the guess work out of your performance.

Solve for your own blind spots. Top performers are always learning and adjusting, and routinely seek feedback from their managers, peers, and subordinates. If your manager doesn’t proactively give you feedback, start the conversation yourself. After a presentation or big meeting, state one thing that you think went well, and then ask for advice on one thing you could improve. It’s best to keep it simple; most people can only absorb one area to improve at a time. Listen to and thank your manager for the feedback. Becoming an active participant in your career development will encourage your manage to have progressively more interest in the type of support you may need.

Codify your leanings. You can capture feedback and learning by keeping a journal. List the five to 10 skills or competencies you need to develop in your position.Rate yourself (either on your own or with the help of a trusted adviser) on each. For example, if you’re a brand marketer, you might give yourself an A in advertising development, a B+ in pricing analysis, and a C in trade marketing. Focus on the C’s to close skill gaps. Seeking feedback from someone who previously held your job can speed up your learning. Continuously monitoring your own performance will allow you to recognise your areas of improvement and your areas of expertise.

Increase your visibility with the C-suite. It’s not always possible to get noticed by senior leaders through your direct work.Avail yourself to do some volunteering for initiatives, such as charity work, company events, or other activities in the organisation. This is an easy but often overlooked way to rub elbows with senior people who will see you in action and ideally take notice of your contributions. Remember the people in the C-suite are almost never blissfully oblivious despite the impression they may give. They did not get there by being unaware of what is happening around them.

Become a specialist in an area of increasing importance to your company. Your company may be grappling with a disruption from a new technology such as the internet of things, artificial intelligence, or cloud-based computing. Become the go-to person in your department on an emerging issue. Conduct research and literature reviews, attend conferences, or write on the topic. Developing expertise in a nascent area of growing importance can lead to promotions and other career opportunities. Specialists are noticed and because they stand out they have a skill or competence that generalists don’t have. They are also seen as an authority in a field or subject and often the specialists get paid better than the generalists.

Seek good counsel and mentoring. The perspective of a senior person is invaluable, but pouncing on someone — “Will you be my mentor?” — is likely to scare them off. Try to meet in an informal way: in the coffee shop in your company’s lobby, or at the company picnic or golf outing. Know the person’s bio, and be prepared to ask a few good questions related to their area of expertise. If things go well, you’ll hear, “If I can help you, let me know.” A week or so later, you can extend an invitation to “continue the conversation” over coffee. In time, a mentor relationship may develop organically.Generally people who have been around and have the knowledge and experience are only too happy to teach and share their expertise with someone who is willing to learn.

Strong functional skills take time to develop. In most positions, whether it’s enterprise sales, brand marketing, supply chain logistics, or corporate finance, being competent often consists of having deep functional knowledge in four or five key job areas and a good working knowledge in another four or five. Without the willingness to take multiple assignments, or even strategic lateral moves, a well-rounded skill set will be elusive. It takes time and it takes patience.

Your skill set is ultimately your career capital, so take the time to develop your functional skills. Jumping from job to job too quickly (say, in 18-month or two-year increments) won’t allow you to develop the functional expertise you need to advance your career. With time, a lot of patience, a willingness to continuously improve your skills, and by taking the initiative, you are far more likely to thrive in this DIY world. Remember it is your Life, your Career don’t leave it in someone elses hands.

DIY doesn’t not mean you have to do it on your own. It simply means Drive it Yourself.

7 key benefits of Career Transition Coaching

Career Coach

Career transition at senior level is difficult as there are only a few available opportunities and plenty of very tough competition. More and more senior managers and executives are using career coaches to gain competitive advantage. Many of the best business leaders engage executive coaches. Career coaching can help executives navigate career transition quickly and effectively. Engaging a career coach will substantially improve competitiveness, marketability and ultimately the success of your job search and long-term career.

If your strategy is to send out hundreds of  copies of your Curriculum Vitae and hope for the best, you will quickly discover that this doesn’t work and is a futile use of your time.  Even if you have the best LinkedIn profile, it is not a guarantee of success.

A good career coach will help you articulate your best attributes and highest skills for a prospective employer to notice. A career coach will help you  develop an effective job search strategy to identify the best target companies and secure your ideal position.

It can significantly reduce the time it takes to find your ideal position by helping you develop a comprehensive job search strategy. Many people including senior manager and executives  find it difficult to articulate the value they can bring to an organisation and as a result how to pitch themselves effectively feels awkward. Many are also unsure what exactly they are looking for in terms of both position and type of company and this can be a significant disadvantage. If your vision is not clear, then you cannot develop an effective strategy to achieve it.

Get help to create a Vision. Vision guides you! In simple terms, if you are going on a business trip or holiday, you would not arrive at the airport without knowing what your destination is. Your destination guides your choice of airline and ultimately which terminal to arrive at. Your career transition journey is no different. If you don’t know where you are going to how will you know when you get there?

A career coach can help you create an impactful Curriculum Vitae (CV) / Resume and LinkedIn profile. Many people forget that the purpose of a CV / Resume is to get the interview and not the job, and as such this document must be carefully constructed to articulate just enough information to create interest and impact and encourage an employer or recruiter to reach out. BUT…. not too much information! At Renata Career Coach we sometimes see CV’s / Resumes that lack impact, are poorly written and in many cases are simply a cut and paste of a job description with little attention given to achievements. Remember that the attention given to each CV / Resume by a recruiter or potential employer is very short so making an impact quickly is essential!

Develop your networking skills. Some experts say that 70% of people ended up in their current position thanks to networking. Others say it’s more like 80-85%. Which ever statistic you believe what is clear this is substantial and as such incorporating a comprehensive networking strategy into your job search strategy is one of the most important actions you can. Effective networking provides a focused way to talk to people about your job search and can help you obtain leads, referrals, advice, information, support and most importantly uncover hidden promotion job opportunities. A good career coach will help you review various opportunities, networking events, existing contacts, developing new contacts and how to prioritise those that could generate the best results.

Preparation for interview and the overall assessment and selection process. Most organisations now have comprehensive recruitment and selection processes consisting not only of competency-based interviews, but also psychometric assessments as well as situation-based presentations. Having someone help you prepare for this puts you at a distinct advantage versus your competition. In our career coaching practice, we help you identify and segment your achievements across your entire career and then help you articulate them in a structured and impactful format. This process alone greatly assists Executives in interview preparation therefore it can also help you. Remember …. 90% preparation = 10% perspiration. 10% preparation = 90% perspiration!

A good career coach will hold you accountable for the goals you have set, offer valuable advice and expertise, and help you acquire different perspectives. Inevitability, there will be setbacks throughout your job search journey and your coach will be there to pick you up and encourage you to keep focussed and face your next challenge with renewed confidence and enthusiasm.

On-boarding into your new position. Depending on the terms and duration of engagement, some career coaches provide on-boarding coaching. The first six months of any position can be critical for both the organisation and the new appointee. On the one hand the hiring organisation will need to see evidence of added value from you. On the other hand you  will need to feel that you have made the right career decision.

Various sources of research have shown that the average executive failure rate within the first 18 months is approximately 40%! A career coach can help with embedding and securing the success of the new relationship and provide a confidential environment to discuss goals, objectives and any potential issues that may arise.

In conclusion, you must remember that the role of a coach is to facilitate you to acquire different perspectives to get more out of work and life. The true value of the coaching process is gained from the work you put in between sessions.

At Renata Career Coaching we provide 1-2-1 coaching for people who are in career transition or planning to change jobs. We tailor a structured programme appropriate for the needs of each individual which results in a professional and effective job search campaign and improved confidence.

Our career coaching service can include:

  • Skills and competency assessment
  • Curriculum Vitae / Resume preparation
  • Development of a Comprehensive Achievements Profile Document
  • Development of a Job Search Marketing Plan
  • Effective networking
  • Engaging effectively with Executive Search Consultants
  • Interview training

For those people looking for an improved alternative to the traditional outplacement program, our Career Coaching programme provides unique and highly customised support on how to conduct a professional job search campaign. Ideal Careers Happen by Design let us at Renata Career Coaching help you find the ideal career that suits you

For a free no-obligation consultation please contact our office via email at renatafester@career-coach.co.za

Career Coach

7 Ways To Revamp Your Resume For A Leadership Position

Are You a Prime Candidate for a Mid-level or Senior leadership Role?

If so, you have to shake up the way you tailor your resume for that position.

The way recruiters and hiring managers look for leadership candidates is slightly different t the way they search for candidates in other roles.

Before you apply for that leadership position, make sure you leverage these seven strategies to tailor your resume for maximum impact.

Revamp Your Resume’s Keywords

You may know, the computer databases, or Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS), that stores and analyses incoming resumes from job boards, employers, and recruiter sites, count the number of times certain words are used in your resume. These keywords are industry-specific and unique to each role in each company. Your resume ranks higher if you include more of these words in the document.

  • Include a keyword section in your summary and stock it with 12 to 15 keywords pulled from the job description of the role you are pursuing.
  • More importantly, use these keywords in each relevant job listing you include in your document. These words can be easily woven into sentences in your position overview statements, as well as your achievements.
  • If you’re a new graduate, have recently attained a qualification, or don’t have all of the experience sought in the job posting you’re applying for, try listing relevant coursework in your resume’s education section. This will boost your keyword count.
  • Fairly universal keywords include terms such as strategic planning, operations leadership, business management, cross-functional, cross-cultural, global, talent management, organizational restructuring, and P&L accountability.

Re-Position Your Resume’s Summary

Each time you apply for a new role, you need to tweak your career summary to maximize the number of keywords. You also need to emphasize the right capabilities.

When you apply for a leadership role, it is imperative to showcase your skills and experience with strategy creation. In lower-level jobs, you have to demonstrate your tactical execution strengths; in director-level plus positions, designing and implementing strategic plans is absolutely critical.

  • Briefly describe the high points of your leadership experience in your summary. Relevant details you may want to include are things like key industries, sizes of companies you’ve worked for, the largest team size you’ve led, and the largest budget or P&L you’ve managed.
  • Include brief descriptors of your leadership and communication style. These are less hard-hitting issues that deserve more attention on executive resumes. If you don’t know your communication style, take this free quiz to find out what it is and how to use it to your advantage.
  • Be sure to include your strategy experience in addition to listing strategic planning as one of your key skills.
  • Consider including two or three brief (but meaningful) career achievements as part of your summary. Choose accomplishments which demonstrate your core leadership strengths and ability to deliver top and bottom-line impacts on sales, revenue, productivity, efficiency, and expense management.

Clarify The Context Of Each Position, Promotion, Or Achievement

One of a resume’s key tasks is to tell the story of your career. Yours must convey the importance and relevance of each position change you’ve made while simultaneously clarifying the key challenges you faced in the role.

  • Include a brief position overview or introduction to each role on your resume. If the position was a promotion or special assignment, make that clear.
  • Showcase the context of your hire or promotion. Were you the first sales person in a new territory, or the newest manager in a series of five within a short time frame? Were you hired or promoted with specific challenges in mind? Were you hired or promoted based on specific skills or experience you possessed?
  • If you were placed in the role to resolve specific challenges, it’s vital to note the circumstances of your entry into the position. For example, if you were hired to turn around declining sales, what was the sales level when you started? What sales level did you attain or position during your tenure?
  • Keep it brief. Your position introduction should take up only two to three lines of text. Make every word count!
  • Do the same thing with your achievements by including key details that reveal the larger context of your actions. If you averted a division closure by turning around sales, that’s vital to highlight. If your marketing efforts helped open new market sectors which paved the way for a mission-critical merger, say so.
  •  Don’t just focus on results—put your results in a larger context that makes your overall contributions more clear.

Front-Load Your Resume’s Achievements With A Strategic Focus

Most job seekers assume that recruiters read resumes the same way that they do. However, that’s not necessarily the case.

Many recruiters read a resume “in order” (a.k.a in pieces and parts) to see the big picture of the prospective candidate’s career. This often includes reading achievement statements differently than you and I do.

Before reading them in their entirety, some recruiters briefly review the first few words of each bulleted statement to test the waters, so to speak. They also do this to see if the accomplishments are more tactically or strategically focused. It’s imperative that you front-load your achievements with the strategic focus they’re looking for, assuming you have that experience.

  • In leadership positions, your strategy influence is often a bigger deal than your monetary impact. Begin your bulleted statements by clarifying your strategic impact, then note the specific impacts you achieved.
  • For example, here’s a typical “homemade” bullet written by a real job seeker: “Working on a green field project that would double the capacity of the plant.” Here’s a revamp which shifts the emphasis to strategy: “Road mapped Greenfield plant start-up from strategic planning to on-time, on-budget roll-out in 2 years. Outcome: Doubled throughput and increased revenue by $46 M.”

Align Your Education & Extra Sections With A Leadership Focus

It’s always important to include up-to-date listings of your educational credentials, including certifications, relevant affiliations, and professional development coursework. However, you shouldn’t overlook other details that can bolster the leadership focus of your resume.

  • Any evidence of your present or past leadership experience may be relevant. So, consider adding present or past volunteer leadership roles in professional or community organizations.
  • Make sure you include any for profit or not-for-profit board or committee roles you have fulfilled. And if space permits, include key initiatives you have contributed to during your tenure on these boards or committees.
  • Leadership courses completed at major grad schools deserve emphasis as well.
  • When you list industry-specific certifications, include them in acronym form as well as spelled out because either form is a keyword.
  • If you have won leadership awards or been selected for leadership development programs with any of your employers, make sure you note these.

Use The Job’s Title As Your Resume’s Title

This is a quick change but a critical one: make sure you insert the exact title of the position you’re pursuing into your resume as its title. This will add more keywords to your resume, but, more importantly, it will shape the perception of your resume’s readers to see you as qualified for the position you are targeting.

Now, this won’t work if you apply for a leadership role for which you have few, if any, qualifications. However, if you are well-qualified for the position you’re targeting and meet 75% or more of the role requirements, then this is a wise and appropriate thing to do.

Harness Your Career Brand In A Tagline

Whether you call it a tagline or a power statement, these single-line headlines are the perfect length to encapsulate a key leadership trait you possess along with your most influential and important career-long impacts.

These kinds of statements are big picture by nature, so they encompass the whole of your career rather than just your most recent role. Secondary or tertiary power statements can be used to spell out additional role-specific achievements.

  • For example, here’s the tagline used for an executive resume: “Fuelled $15B in revenue career-long while delivering 5x investor returns.” As you can see, short statements are more powerful when used as headlines; key details can be provided in the work history section of your resume.
  • Let’s say you’re a leader with a turnaround history—that would be important to note in a key location. Hence, a tagline such as this might be beneficial: “Reversed the performance of 4 mid-size companies from negative to up to +$144M in 11 months.”

All of the above are content shifts you need to make in your resume to properly position yourself as a leadership candidate. In addition, consider overhauling your resume’s “look and feel” to ensure you call attention to executive-level experience. Remember an organisation posting a job is looking to fill a capacity gap; so make sure you convince them that the capacity you have can fill their gap.